Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
