Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
