Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
