My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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