Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
