His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
