Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
