she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
found the other keg... it's in the tree
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
