I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
