Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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