In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I need water and some morals
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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