well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
