But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
