Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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