areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
