we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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