I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
