He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he was CRYING into my vagina
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
