Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
