Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
