1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
is it fun? or sober?
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