His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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