dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
