i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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