I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
