Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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