I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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