You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
