When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
