Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
