so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
