Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
