Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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