Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
