I skipped work to stalk him.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
