I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
