Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
