Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
