let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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