Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
