does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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