a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
