would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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