Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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