how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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