I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
