Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
