if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
