is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
