whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
