5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
