bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
